Carrot Cake

My cousin got married this weekend! We really lucked out with the weather, and it was a great excuse for me to get a new outfit (right?!) Here’s a picture of me and my date


Yep, those are my parents. No plus one for me. Although I did have a dancing partner for most of the night…

Carrot cake.

He was one of the groomsman (the only single one) and I had noticed him earlier in the evening. He was taller than me, and a ginger. My brother and dad are redheads, and I have a soft spot for gingers. Actually, I kind of wish I had red hair. He seemed a little obnoxious, like the funny guy at the party that wants all the attention. Also found out he is 22. But the music was blasting, the drinks were flowing, and the dance floor was open…

I don’t remember how it happened, but he came up to me and then the next thing I know, we were dancing. It was fun! But he had a little too much to drink. At one point he tried to shove his tongue down my throat. Like, literally. I just about choked. I was just interested in dancing. I did a lot of strategic head bobbing in my dances.

But the real kicker was when my uncle (father of the groom) pulled me aside when carrot cake went for a drink. This is what he said: “I don’t want to tell you what to do. You’re an adult – if you’re just looking for a fun time tonight, go for it. He’s a fun guy, he’ll make you laugh. But I have to tell you – you can definitely do better”

Decision made. He was only going to be a dancing partner.

Carrot cake felt differently. He had clearly had too much to drink – he forgot my name (twice) and when he attempted to dip me on the dance floor, he promptly dropped me on my head and fell down next to me. That was partially my fault – I should’ve known he wasn’t coherent enough to hold on! He was pretty adamant on taking me back to his hotel room – and I was pretty adamant that it wasn’t going to happen. He even said “I don’t want to sleep with you, I just want to cuddle!” Yeah, ok. He kept asking for my number and I told him if he remembered me in the morning, I’m sure there would be a way for him to get my number (I’m related to well over half the people at the wedding) and if not, we’ll just chalk it up as a great night dancing. I thought for sure he’d forget.

I was wrong.

This afternoon I got a facebook message from him asking for my number! Gah! I was so hoping he would’ve forgotten, or just brushed it off as a fun night. As politely as I could, I told him I’m flattered but no thanks.

Maybe by the time the next family wedding comes along, I’ll have an actual date…


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