“The List” – part 1

So what’s the deal with this blog? Good question. I blame my mother.

I’ll let you in on a little secret – I was 23 years old and had never gone on a date. I was really good at being the 3rd wheel. Or 5th wheel. I was actually the 11th wheel once. But “Claire” and “boyfriend” were never used in the same sentence. To be honest, I never felt pretty enough to date – who would be interested in me if wasn’t interested in me? But with my new body and newfound self confidence, I decided it was time for something new.

So last fall, I decided to try online dating. And in true Claire style, I didn’t just do 1 site. I opened an Okcupid account, a Plenty of Fish account, a free trial on Match, and then later I also downloaded Tinder. Online dating sometimes gets a bad rap, but I figured that I was decently normal so there had to be some other decently normal people out there…right? I was partially right. I met some good ones, don’t get me wrong. But I also met some real doozies.

I was constantly updating my mother about the different guys – they said what?! She thought I should start a blog. She thought people would love to hear about the dating escapades of a 24 year old living with her parents in the middle of nowhere.

I’m not so sure. But I’m willing to give it a shot. And if not, it’s a great way to document this for my future kids. Because that’s what I tell myself after each experience:

At least I’ll have great stories to tell my kids someday

So I decided to write down all of the dates I’ve been on so far. I’ve changed their names to names of desserts. Because desserts are so much more fun to think about. And I present them to you as:

The List  (part 1)

Chocolate chip cookie – He was my first date ever. He messaged me on POF. Tall, dark, handsome, football player, singer, and composer. Oh yes. He and I hit it off pretty well, but then he kind of fell off the face of the earth. He ignored me, gave me ambiguous answers to questions about hanging out, and when I finally called him out on it, he said that we were too different. In his words “you’re a morning person and I’m a night owl.” Really, it’s because I had a real job and he did not. Sorry if that’s harsh, but it’s true.

Lemon meringue pie – He messaged me on Okcupid. He seemed super nice, intelligent, but was a little bit of a pretty boy. He asked me for my phone number and then called (yes, called. He said texting was too impersonal) to set up the first date. We met for coffee, but it was nothing special. Neither of us tried to talk to each other again

Vanilla cupcake – I was a little hesitant about responding to his message on Okcupid. He seemed like a funny, but quirky guy. He asked for my number and then after a few text conversations, we met for dinner. I knew from the start it was not going anywhere. He was shorter than me (which isn’t a deal breaker, but doesn’t help) and was incredibly awkward and couldn’t keep a conversation. His “self-employed” job was delivering papers part time while living in his mom’s basement. He was 1 class away from finishing a culinary degree but wasn’t sure if he wanted to finish. Yeah, no thanks. I was ready to be done before we even sat down.

Sugar cookie – He was actually a winner. My first boyfriend! He messaged me on POF shortly after Christmas. He mentioned my ukulele playing abilities and won me over. We met on New Year’s Day (I had a little too much fun the night before if you catch my drift…) and despite my broken blood vessels under my eyes and queasy stomach, we hit it off immediately. We actually dated for about 2 months and things were great. But in March he ended up switching careers and couldn’t handle a relationship. I was devastated, but everything happens for a reason…right?

Chocolate cupcake – I actually messaged him first, from a free trial I had on Match. We had messaged back a little and exchanged phone numbers and agreed to meet for dinner. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t great either. He was a little awkward and had a really annoying laugh. He texted me 2 days after and said he had a lot of fun. I responded thanks, but I don’t see us as being anything more than friends. That might not have been the nicest way to approach it, but why prolong the inevitable?

Funfetti cupcake – He started my string of Tinder dates. Super funny guy, barely taller than me, and had a real job. He asked to talk on the phone before we met for dinner. We talked for almost an hour! When we met for dinner, things flowed really smoothly. I thought we hit it off quite well. But he was absolutely terrible at responding to texts, so we never did end up meeting again.

Peanut butter cookie – He messaged me on Tinder and he was super sweet. We met for drinks after work, and it wasn’t awesome but wasn’t terrible either. He wanted to take me to dinner and a lacrosse game. That was crazy boring. He wasn’t very good at keeping conversation. We ran out of things to talk about by the time dinner was over. Needless to say, we never talked again.

There’s part 1. But don’t worry – there’s more.


2 thoughts on ““The List” – part 1

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